I met with my planner today and she told me that because my fiance and I want to blend our faiths together in one ceremony (christian and hindu) that we are going to have to come up with our own wording and order for the events that we want in our ceremony.
Ive been trying to do this on my own, and am having a very hard time with it! If there is anyone who can help me to come up with a good order for the things we want included in our ceremony and the wording for it, it would be GREATLY appreciated! I will award best answer to the person who is most willing to help.
We need to include...
saying the vows that we have written to eachother
exchanging traditional Hindu flower garlands
the 7 steps around the sacred fire
applying the vermillion paste to brides forehead
sand ceremony
I appreciate all the help...and no, we can not just have 2 ceremonies...we simply cant afford it so thats why we are forced to come up with our own.
Thank you in advance!!!!
Okay...so I need serious help!?
There is a book called joining hands and hearts: interfaith, intercultural wedding celebrations--a practical guide for couples.
they have a lot of suggestions that i found helpful. I also bought the everything wedding vows book that also helped with ordering the ceremony.
Reply:well, I would find out the order they are normally done in both ceremonies and do it in that order. (sorry, not going to look it up for you) as for your wedding planner...I wouldnt say she isnt doing her job (as another poster said already) she just isnt going to try and combine 2 faiths into one wedding. that should be up to the bride and groom as they are the ones with the traditions to fit in.
Reply:Your wedding planner is not doing her job. She should have offered to help you find some religious personages from each faith who can help you sort through this.
Who is the officiant for this service? Do you have a pastor? Does your fiance have a religious leader? These are the people you should be talking to and who can help you develop an order of service.
Reply:I just wrote my own ceremony wording, with the help of my officiant. basically, have it go in this order:
processional
intro (say something about you joining your hearts and your families/cultures)
vows
garlands (have officiant talk about the significance of this)
fire(officiant will say something pertaining to the fire.)
vermillion paste
sand ceremony (say something about the blending of the families. You really should consult whoever will be performing the ceremony. Many double-cultured weddings have an officiant from both cultures and they both take turns talking, which is really cool.In order to get all of the religious aspects, consult both church officials on this matter. When you are doing these sacred rites, the minister (or whoever) can add some wise advice or explain the importance and symbolism of what you are doing. My fiance and I are non-religious but we have studied many religions, so we wanted something that would incorperate our ideas on love and marriage without being too focused on one belief: Here's mine for an example:Minister:
With great joy, we come together to join this man, ___________, and this woman, ____________, in matrimony.
This marriage is an event in the lifetime of a love. Neither I, nor all society, can join these two lovers today. Only they can do what they have chosen. They are joining themselves, each to the other. As they find union with one another, they proclaim that union today and pledge its future. We, by our participation in this celebration, do but recognize and honor their intention to dwell together as husband and wife.
If you would have the foundation of your marriage be the devotion you have for one another, not just at this moment, but for all the days to come, then treasure the hopes and dreams that you bring here today. Establish that your love will never be blotted out by the common nor obscured by the ordinary in life. Faults will surface where now you find comfort, and admiration can be shattered by the routine of daily life.
Dedication, love, and joy can grow only when you nourish them together. Stand fast in that hope and confidence, having faith in your shared destiny just as strongly as you have faith in yourselves and in one another today. Only with this spirit can you forge a union that will strengthen and endure all the days of your lives.
Hindu Poem
You have become mine forever.
Yes, we have become partners.
I have become yours.
Hereafter, I cannot live without you.
Do not live without me.
Let us share the joys.
We are word and meaning, unite.
You are thought and I am sound.
May the nights be honey-sweet for us.
May the mornings be honey-sweet for us.
May the plants be honey-sweet for us.
May the earth be honey-sweet for us.
UNITY CANDLE
(mothers light taper candles and hand them to the bride and groom. The two flames represent the two families. The bride and groom light the unity candle to represent the joining of the families-insert anything you want to say here)
Navajo wedding blessing
Now you have lit a fire and that fire should not go out. The two of you now have a fire that represents love, understanding and a philosophy of life. It will give you heat, food, warmth and happiness. The new fire represents a new beginning - a new life and a new family. The fire should keep burning; you should stay together. You have lit the fire for life, until old age separates you.
Groom:
I, ____________, take you, ____________, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.
The Groom places the Bride’s ring on her finger and says:
____________, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of God.
Bride:
I, ____________, take you, ____________, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.
The Bride places the Groom’s ring on his finger and says:
____________ , I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of God.
Minister:
With this statement made of love and trust, which we have just heard, I now wish you to greet ____________ and ____________ as husband and wife.
Hand ceremony:
[Bride], please face [Groom], and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.
(Bride and Groom turn to face each other, with his upturned hands resting in hers.)
These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he pledges his commitment and promises to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too feels his child stirring within your womb.
These are the hands that will give you support as he encourages you to chase down your dreams.
These are the hands that will massage your feet, after long days.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
They are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief clouds your mind.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes - eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you. (Groom, you’re more than welcome to do EXACTLY that at this point in the ceremony…)
Bless them.
(Bride kisses the palm of each of Groom's hands.)
Together, everything you wish for can be realized.
[Groom], please hold [Bride]'s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.
These are the hands that are smooth, young, and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her commitment and promises to love you all the days of her life.
These are the hands that will hold your child in tender love, soothing through illness and hurts, supporting and encouraging along the way.
These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams.
These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back after long days.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will hold yours in joy and excitement and hope.
Bless them.
(Groom kisses the palm of each of Bride’s hands.)
Together, everything you wish for can be realized.
Let us pray.
God, bless the hands that hold each other upon this sacred day. May they always be held with love and trust. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for your perfection. May [Bride] and [Groom] forever see these hands as their healers, protectors, shelters, and guides. (Tie the hands)
As your hands are bound together now, so your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust. Above you are the stars and below you is the earth. Like the stars, your love should be a source of light and like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.
Apache wedding blessing
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years,
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficult and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.
Minister:
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. That is impossible. It is even a disservice to pretend it is possible. Yet that is what most of us demand. We have such little faith in the ebb and flow of life and of love and of relationships.
We leap forward at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb, for we are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanence, on duration, on continuity. But the only continuity possible in life, as in love, is in growth, in fluidity and in freedom, as dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in creating the same pattern.
Poem No. 3 - The Recipe of Love
The recipe of love must always includ
Vagabond Inn Merced
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